Ellie's Path to Redemption
by Shutupnkissme313
Summary: First attempt at a sequel, after the events in Chuck vs Ellie's alternate (abomination) ending. I got the itch to explore further and see if there is a shot of redemption and the mending of family for Ellie.
1. Parents

_**A/N: I let my epilogues try to serve as my endings, problem is my Abomination Epilogue in Chuck vs Ellie gave me too much to think about and trying to balance out three stories at the same time is a pain. Especially as one is something I'm not even sure how I'm going to present it. Anyways, here goes… as always do not own Chuck and I hope you enjoy. If you have not read Chuck vs Ellie I would say it is a must in order to understand what is going on.**_

 **Ellie's Path to Redemption**

 **Chapter 1: Parents**

As Ellie walked up to the tiny church she just looked at it and marveled at its simplicity compared to the elaborate behemoths that are constructed today. Coming to an iron gate she looked down at the cornerstone with the number 1852 imprinted on it. She shook her head with a smile wishing things would get simple again, but having grown to despise the word 'complicated' yet have it be the only word fitting to describe her existence, a small part of the karmic retribution she was owed. This was baby steps she knew, but it was the place to start, if she wanted to be forgiven by others she needed to forgive as well.

Finding the area was not difficult, although she was surprised by how big the tree was that now provided shade to the resting place of her parents. She tried to chuckle to hold back the emotion, but remembered the significance of the tree. Less than a week after her dad's funeral she had come back from a double shift completely worn, but too tired to sleep so she sat on the couch staring at nothing in particular, but out of the corner of her eye watching the sun rise. She didn't notice anything until she felt something large fall on her lap that was… denim. Looking up Ellie saw Sarah looking down at her with empathy. Sarah's expression changed as Ellie took in Sarah's attire: overalls and gave a slight snort. 'Don't laugh, I need your help so go change.' Ellie looked at Sarah with bewilderment, but followed her 'order' and soon came out wearing a t-shirt and the overalls. Sarah gave a snort as well and gestured for Ellie to follow; grabbing two pairs of garden gloves and two shovels that were by the door.

"Sarah… we aren't burying a body are we?"

"No, we don't do those types of things."

"So, we're digging one up?"

Sarah let out a full laugh at that and just shook her head and walked to the Nerdherder; opened its trunk and placed the shovels and gloves inside, "What I'm not going to take my baby, besides Chuck said when Jeff and Lester have a long call they just roll the windows down and send it through the car wash and it's fine after it dries."

Ellie nervously stepped inside having no idea where they were headed off to. Soon on the road Sarah took out her phone and made a call, "So is everything set, good and is it there yet… it had better be… ok goodbye." Sarah looked at Ellie with a sweet smile, "Everything should be set up for us." Ellie quirked an eyebrow and said nothing as they drove to this church.

Getting out Sarah acted more demurely as she went to open the trunk; it eased as Ellie grabbed a pair of gloves, put them on and grabbed a shovel, but she still held a trepidatious look in her eyes. The walk to the gravesite was silent and arriving there Ellie looked over at Sarah completely surprised as there was a wheelbarrow with a tiny tree inside and beside it a fairly large bag and a few gallons of water.

"It came to me the night of the funeral, that there should be something more than a marker… something living." Sarah soon struggled to breathe under the tightest hug she'd ever encountered, beating Mr. Colt's, "Ellie… breathing… hard."

Ellie retracted apologizing with tear-filled eyes, "This is wonderful… Why aren't you doing this with Chuck?"

"You needed this more. When you think nobody is looking your eyes kind of glaze over…"

"And that is why you two have this lovely tree… and that is when Sarah went from beyond even a best friend into pure family. She was my sister… I don't know why we didn't tell anybody we planted the tree, I always assumed it was because she wanted something that was just her and me. Look at me I come out here to talk to you and I talk about something else. The most important thing you both need to know is that I miss you everyday and wish that I could have one more day, not even that; an hour or two would probably suffice. I know I've screwed so many things up, and I waited too long to start, but I am trying now to make amends and that starts with you two. I'll just fill you in on what has truly happened to me. I'm sorry I lied to you Dad. I just wasn't ready." With a deep breath Ellie told the true story of the past sixteen years since moving to Chicago.

* * *

As Casey walked up the cobblestone drive he allowed his mind to wander if things had been different would being a delivery man have been satisfying. This was a quirk he had picked up from his Buy More days; if he had been stuck in a civilian life what could he possibly tolerate. The answer his brain fired back showed how soft he had become; with Gertrude waiting he'd tolerate almost any job. Not realizing he had rung the doorbell he was startled when the door opened and there was a slight squeal before he felt arms wrap around his midsection.

"Hey tough guy, what brings you here?"

"Well squirt, I've heard they've lowered the requirements for graduation enough to let you skip by."

A quick jab to his arm brought out Casey's smile, "What's this I already got your present the other day? Although I have never been accused of not accepting as many gifts as possible."

"That is the truth, but this is a present from somebody else. I had just wrapped up my last mission; do not give me those Bartowski eyes and no last missions, things can't go wrong, blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry I missed your party squirt, but I hope this makes up for it. "

Clara takes the box and cautiously lifts the lid, "Hooray, a bunch of envelopes?" At Casey's solemn look she looks down at them again and pulls out the one closest to her in the left column. It was addressed to her with a postmark of fourteen years ago along with a stamped finger marked: Return to Sender. Looking at who the sender was brought her brown eyes as wide as possible, "You found her?"

Casey shook his head, "No it was more like she found me, I…"

He stopped as he could see the shift from happiness to doubt as she stepped back inside with the box and was about to close the door, "Kid, after you take a few breaths and want to hear what happened call me, ok."

The large door closed and Casey muttered, "Give her a chance, squirt." Unbeknownst to him Clara was propped against the other side of the door and could hear his plea clearly.

* * *

"Miss…Miss."

"Oh… I'm sorry am I disturbing other people?"

"No, not at all. It's just that I'm set to leave and I have to lock the gate before I go."

"What time is it?"

"Twenty past ten, I usually leave at ten, but you seemed to need to get things off your chest. Are you going to be ok? If you need to stay a little longer…"

"No, thank you though. It had been far too long and I just… no it's fine." Ellie got up thanked the caretaker once again and started walking the pathway back to her car.

 _ **A/N: So despite the title I didn't delve into the Ellie/Steven & Mary issues. I think they are pretty obvious and I enjoyed the tree story more as it gave a little more depth to Ellie and Sarah's relationship. Planning on three more chapters: Clara, Devon, and Charah. Anyhow, let me know what you think.**_


	2. Clara

_**A/N: The tree planting was a flashback. Sorry for those who may have misunderstood; I did put in that the tree was planted less than a week after Steven's funeral which would put it a few years before the conclusion on the beach. .**_

 **Ellie's Path to Redemption**

 **Chapter 2: Clara**

She debated about driving the five hours back or staying overnight, her frugality won out and as she pulled into her driveway at three-thirty she was ready to sleep for the majority of the next day. She went to plug in her phone and realized she had put it on mute, not expecting anything she was surprised to find a text message received. Curious she looked and found ' _Package delivered directly to target. Not sure what target will do. Sorry but stay in touch.'_

She added the phone number to her contact list and hoped it wasn't a burner. The subject of the message then crystallized for the doctor and the sleep she was a few seconds away from stormed off leaving her either tossing or staring vacantly at the ceiling until dawn. Realizing that her refrigerator was empty save for two slices of two day old pizza and a half liter of orange juice; she headed out to the store for some food and more important the caffeine her body was demanding. On the trip back her nerves had calmed considerably which was a surprise from the two double-cappuccino's she gulped down. After fixing a spinach tomato feta frittata for breakfast she puttered around in her herb garden in the backyard picking out some rosemary and chives that were perfect. Washing up she looked at her clock and sighed; hoping that she was at least in the early afternoon, but the clock spat in her face it was only 9:32.

Hearing her phone ring set off a few alarms, wondering who could possibly call her and going to it she was somewhat hoping it was the hospital, apologetically of course, asking if she could come back to work quicker. Not recognizing the number at all she was tempted to let it go to voice mail, but something egged her on to answer it.

"Hello."

"Mommy?"

Ellie's mind blanked, but somehow, "Clara?" came out.

"Yes."

Tears were doing their best to work their way through, but Ellie held them at bay. That didn't stop her voice from cracking, "How are you, baby?"

There was some silence on the line and Ellie began to panic, "Why did you continue to write letters and not attempt to send them?"

"The point was made after the first five years, I just always hoped there would be some point where it would be possible to see… or talk to you. I am so sorry for…"

"Did you mean what you wrote?"

"Yes and although some of it may be hard to believe all of it is true. I don't know what you know about Uncle Chuck and Aunt Sarah, but that is their story to tell if they want to… I'm babbling now… I miss you every day…"

"I just graduated from high school." Clara added, with a little distance in her tone.

"I know I was going to show up… I know I wasn't invited… my God this sounds like some stupid awful parent cliché, but it wasn't my fault."

"What happened?"

"I was held over in LAX jail for two and a half days as an Eleanor Bartowski is on a no-fly list. It is the truth, but you don't have any right to believe me." The tears found their way out.

"I need to check on a few things, then I will call you back. Goodbye."

The line ended and Ellie tearily cried out, "Clara!" as she realized her daughter was no longer there.

The next eight hours went agonizingly slow as staring at a phone and wishing it to ring is wont to do. Her stomach grumbling at that point forced her to take the rest of her frittata out and picked at it enough to quell her stomach's uproar. Ellie returned to her staring and when it reached ten pm she began to wonder if she had dreamt the phone call from earlier. The lack of sleep the previous nights, being a suspected terrorist in a holding cell doesn't cry creature comfort, were piling up on her and just as she was about to succumb to the blissful slumber it rang.

In a dazed state Ellie, did not know how many times it had rung answered it quickly, "Clara, please don't hang up."

"I'm not planning on it… yet. Even though I am upset I needed a little help to get through some of the encryptions I was able to confirm that you were in a holding cell while I was getting my diploma. I did also ask Dad about the letters and he insisted we never got them. He wouldn't answer if he would have let me receive them if we got them though; which pisses me off. Hmm; a little surprised I didn't get a 'language' scold from you."

"I didn't want to risk you stop talking."

The earnestness caught Clara as she swallowed. The whirlwind of emotions pulsing through her entire body any of which may come out and that may prevent her from answering the questions she needed to know. "This is probably a mistake… Why did you fly out of LAX and not San Francisco?"

"I couldn't get on a flight out of there, but it is a lot closer to me… why?"

"I just booked you on a five am flight to land at O'Hare at around a quarter after eleven. I also booked your departing flight from O'Hare at a quarter after eight which will get you back at around eleven your time. Will you be on it?"

Ellie was stunned for a moment, "Yes… of course… nine hours." The last part came out as a whisper, but her daughter heard it clearly.

"This is not a trial period; I can only count on negating the no-fly appearance for one day. There's too much and I can't go through it on a phone. I just need to see you… once."

"I will be on that plane, do you need my e-mail address to send me the confirmation…"

"No! ... I mean, it is US Airways and here is the confirmation number. I guess I'll see you tomorrow." The line disconnected right after before Ellie could say anything.

Trying her best not to over think things, she quickly pulled out a duffel bag and placed two clothing options in it, including a pair of heels to go with one. She had a feeling that these nine hours was going to be quite the test and she did not want to be caught with the wrong choice right off the bat. Ellie set her alarm for two am and didn't bother pulling down the cover and was immediately on the train to sleepytown.

Wearing scrubs for flights proved once again to be the right choice as she attempted to sleep on the flight the female next to her decided to share her cranberry and vodka by slinging it on her while laughing at something on her tablet. A problem with the bathrooms forced her to use some generic antibacterial wipes to clean herself. The flight was also running about twenty minutes late and getting caught in a holding pattern brought their arrival to the gate almost exactly an hour late.

Ellie bounded off the plane with her bag as soon as the door opened, pulling out her phone she found the number that called her twice yesterday and hit send.

"Wow, it still shows your plane in a holding pattern."

"Well I kind of ran off the plane as soon as they opened the door. I didn't know what plans you had and was wondering if I had time to change. I wore scrubs on the plane."

"I was going to take us to lunch, but it is casual. I am just outside door 3."

"Ok, I'm headed there now. What kind of car are you in?"

"I'll spot you; I've been told it should be easy."

"Ok." Ellie answered a little warily. It took a few minutes to wind her way through the airport and came upon door 3.

Taking a deep, unsteady breath she stepped forward uttering a prayer that she wouldn't screw this up. She opened them quickly as walking through O'Hare Airport with your eyes closed can only cause trouble. Her eyes made a quick survey, but focused on the red Corvette convertible with a brunette haired young woman staring directly at her. Walking closer it was impossible not to notice the similarities further emphasized that both had tied their hair into a tight ponytail. Reaching the car both felt as if they were looking into a funhouse mirror that showed the younger what she will look like in thirty years and reminded Ellie what she looked like at that age.

With neither moving for awhile, Clara regained her senses first, but could not fight the urge to confirm this person was real. While Ellie was still in a daze she was shocked from it by two arms wrapping around her; ' _I hope this moment lasts forever'_ crossed her mind just as her child pulled away.

"No wonder you wanted to change, you smell like a distillery. How many Cosmo's did you throw down on the flight?"

' _Forever is a lot shorter than I had hoped'_ thought Ellie who stammered out, "I didn't have any… it was…"

"No, the splash pattern is consistent with somebody spilling… actually throwing a drink at you." Seeing the slumped shoulders and face down brought up some insecurities from Clara ' _Great, you've convinced the woman you're a spoiled, condescending bitch.'_

Ellie looked down at her top and could see the stains, bringing her eyes up she could tell Clara was nervous about her reaction, "That was very observant, although I am troubled you know what a distillery smells like." Ellie added in a light tone.

Clara giggled at that and opened the passenger door. Ellie climbed in and Clara scampered to the driver's side and soon they were off.

"My health club is right next to the restaurant so you can duck into the locker room and change. Actually, I'm tempted just to give you my card and see if they just wave you by."

Ellie didn't know how o comment on that merely stated her thanks, then added, "Happy Graduation."

"Thanks, Mom and Dad got this for me and…" Clara stopped and quickly looked to see if there was a grimace on her passenger's face and feeling slightly disappointed that there wasn't one.

"Clara, please put your eyes back on the road. I had to drill into my head that there is no way to expect or deserve that title and I don't want this time together to be filled with unnecessary awkward moments as there are going to be a few no matter what."

"I don't know how to address you, it doesn't feel right to call you 'Mom', 'Ellie' sounds wrong in my mind, 'Aunt' or anything familial doesn't seem enough, 'Ms. Bartowski' makes you sound like a teacher; by the end of the day you'll be glad to get on the plane with my saying, 'Hey you.' still ringing in your ears."

"Well, I'm not sure how to help. It is too early for Mom and Ellie doesn't feel right to me either. I can live with 'hey you' for today… Can I ask where you are going to college? I mean if you are… I guess you could be taking a year off, maybe traveling." Ellie stopped talking.

"You can ask. I am going to school in the fall… I'm going to Northwestern. I'm looking into Criminology and possibly becoming a profiler. I know only a little bit of Uncle Chuck and Aunt Sarah's past and I have absolutely no interest in being out in the field." Ellie let out a sigh of relief, "However I can defend myself. Although the tough guy said you could probably teach a class in stealth with a frying pan."

Ellie looked at Clara with a puzzled look, when the event did come back to her brought a quick smile, but a frown soon overtook it, "Were there many stories told about me?"

"No, Dad and Uncle Chuck would just put off any questions I had; and Aunt Sarah would get a sad look after a few and say she couldn't remember. Grandma and Uncle Casey did tell me a few. He said you and Aunt Sarah were two of a few people who could intimidate him, but seeing you and Aunt Sarah I find it hard to see either of you as intimidating."

"Looking back I would say I would have been far more obstinate than intimidating."

"What about Aunt Sarah?"

Clara was a little surprised that the other person was taking her time when she was absolutely forthcoming on other things. As they had just reached the parking lot for her health club she pulled over into the nearest empty parking space and looked over to find her passenger staring at shaking hands finally deciding to sit on them.

Noticing the car had stopped Ellie embarrassedly looked over and found her daughter staring at her with concern, "There was just one time… I'm sorry, I just hadn't thought about it for a long time now. Although I did promise myself on the plane to tell and show you everything, warts and all; I didn't even know I still had this one. Your Aunt is the most amazing woman I have ever met."

Clara simply nodded and handed Ellie her car keys. Ellie looked at her incredulously before shaking her head, "You really want me to try this." At Clara's simple nod she took her keys, "Where…"

"Ladies locker room; after you scan the card go to your left and there should be an empty room, go past it and the entrance is right there. If you don't make it out in ten, I'll come in and get you."

Ellie nervously nodded and took her duffel, "Do you want to share the plans for after lunch?"

Clara shook her head, "I don't really have any, I'm not planning on anything extravagant… I was hoping to show you my house… at least for a little bit so I can leave a note saying I'm going to be late for dinner."

"Neither of them know about me being here, do they?"

Clara shook her head, "I didn't know how to. I didn't want a lecture or having Dad say something stupid like forbidding me to do this."

Ellie stopped herself from saying something as she felt she had no right to. She held up one hand with crossed fingers and walked towards the entrance. Clara took a deep breath and wondered how long she could go without asking the one question: why did it take so long to contact her? She did have a problem getting into the LAX system, but not the Social Security one which gave her an idea how much she made and that correlated with her letters, or the AMA one which showed there were no complaints after her license was reinstated, and the public tax records that showed her house, a sixteen hundred square foot ranch that was built in 1982. Clara was surprised as she saw her… whatever coming out. She had on a yellow sleeveless top and tan shorts; she also took her hair out of the ponytail and Clara could see the wisps of gray in there along with what she would call a hopeful smile.

"Is this ok?"

"Sure, you look nice. No, you don't have to bother getting in, the place I planned on going to is just two doors down from the gym. It's a small Italian deli. I usually get the antipasto salad as justification to get some gelato, but their Italian beef is really good and their meatballs are homemade… I'll sneak one or two in case Mom is cook…"

Ellie looked at her daughter warmly trying to convey her understanding and make her point she was only trying to carve out a little space and not usurp anything from those that raised her. Clara seemed to respond to that although there also appeared to be a hint of disappointment. Clara soon got out of the car and they walked side by side, not speaking until they reached the door to the deli.

Ellie was surprised it was still full as it was a little past one pm; seats were impossible to find so the thought of gelato left Clara's mind and settled on a meatball parm sandwich and Ellie tried the Italian beef to go. Walking back to the car and a five minute drive to a small park they both realized they hadn't said a word to each other since Clara had left the car.

Ellie simply stated, "Let's wait until we finish eating, "before biting into the sandwich and uttering an exclamation of delight to the amusement of Clara who showed her independent streak by telling stories about her life between bites. Some were to simply inform, some to poke at her and what she had missed, and some to garner a response. Ellie listened to them all without responding letting her eyes show the emotion that each of Clara's tales brought forth. The last one in particular was rough as Clara was talking about her Senior Prom. Ellie had just finished her sandwich when Clara talked about her date bringing her up to a hotel room. Ellie quickly grabbed all the trash, as Clara had already finished her sandwich, and left wide-eyed to find the trash receptacle and take a deep breath.

Making her way back to the bench Ellie made a decision and she hoped it was the right one, "Listen, I know I've earned the scorn by not being there for you. However I will not lie to you and I hope from now on you won't lie to me either."

Clara could not hold back the look of surprise on her face as Ellie continued, "There's a little thing that you do that Chuck used to as well when he thought he was getting something past me. Your prom date did not take you to a hotel room; he took you home."

The surprise on Clara's face held as the tiniest kernel of respect for her egg donor came forth, "Nobody can tell when I'm lying, not even Uncle Casey. What is my tell?"

"Profilers should have no problem with having a tell or two. A field agent on the other hand…" Clara's mouth dropped into a frown as she realized there was one more mistruth she had stated, but not yet been called on. "I was just going to start with my story coming to Chicago. I don't know how much you read…"

"All of them."

"All?" Clara nodded, "Ok, well then even though I said I wouldn't I'll go back almost twenty years and tell you the story of how Uncle Chuck and Aunt Sarah met. I know I don't have any right to say you cannot do this, but I can try to provide you with the information that others have not to give you a full perspective." Clara merely nodded at that as well and Ellie for the next three plus hours relayed the events of her life. She allowed time for Clara to absorb some difficult ones and also ask questions whenever one came to her. Ellie finished with leaving to go to her reinstatement hearing with the AMA.

"There's more, isn't there?"

Ellie sighed, "Yes, but you've heard enough for now."

"Do they only want me because of my family?"

"No, they probably did keep an eye on you because of your family, but they wouldn't approach if they didn't think you were worth it. There's also somebody else who can give you far better insight than I can"

Clara nodded to that as well; since she was planning on calling Aunt Sarah tonight anyways she involuntarily winced as she felt she would be getting her first dose of her Aunt's intimidation. Looking up she could see a slight nod from her… The aggravation of being caught in a lie and the emotional unrest caused by the past forty-eight hours spilled forth, "Why did you wait so long?"

This was the question Ellie had prepped herself on as soon as she agreed to the trip to the Midwest. She quickly realized there was no adequate answer. "I had convinced myself that you were better off without me. During my relationship with the Government everything I had done and the results of that were crashing down on me all the time and I was barely functioning. I ended up focusing on today; doing what I needed to do to get through then going to sleep and starting over again the next day. The problem with that is you begin to create routines and once they become entrenched they are hard to get rid of. But the main reason is I was scared. It was difficult enough to have all the people you love turn their back to you once let alone open yourself up to have them do it again. More importantly there was you; the most important job of my life, the one I had looked forward to for so long and I was an abject failure. You were the only thing worth fighting for and I waited far too long to do so."

"Who are you fighting for me?"

"Myself… and you; at some point I hope that I can be some part of your life, one that can have me addressed with something besides a personal pronoun." Ellie added hoping to provide some levity to ease the growing tension.

It worked a little bit as Clara looked to Ellie and mouthed 'Ouch' but turned into a slight grin. Ellie panicked at first, but the grin made her breathe a sigh of relief, "I still don't know what to call you," brought a giggle from the both of them.

"As long as you call me, I don't really care," Ellie whispered, but scrunched her face as she saw Clara react as if she clearly heard it. "I'm not trying to push you."

"You are a little, but if you don't things may not change." They shared a look with one another and it became quiet again.

"Are you happy?"

"Now or in general?" Clara answered.

"Either, both; do you really want to be a spy? I'm asking too much, but I would like to know just a little something other than the facts." Ellie asked, although scared she may have gone too far.

Clara pondered the question before her and after tipping her head from side to side, smiled and said, "Yes." At Ellie's wide-eyed look begging for a few more details Clara chuckled, "Both in general and now… There is still a lot I think we both need to go through, but I would like to try… as long as you do."

Ellie couldn't hold back the tears or the smile that had been set aside for fourteen years as she nodded her head vigorously to what her daughter just said.

"Ok," Clara wiped her eyes that misted watching her… "Let me take you home so I can grab a sweater and maybe get us something to snack on before your flight back."

Ellie nodded at that, fighting her instinct to hug her as their relationship still seemed far too tenuous and a full-on Bartowski hug could be too much. They walked back to the car and a ten minute jaunt found them in front of a house that left Ellie speechless. The iron gate in front of the driveway slid open and as they drove up the cobblestone drive, Ellie's thoughts of asking Clara if she wanted to come out before the fall semester were flushed out of her head. As Clara pulled into the garage she could sense her passenger's discomfort.

"It is a little much for three people, but we somehow manage to run into one another."

"I'm glad that you all are doing well."

"The bedrooms are on the second floor. There is a staircase past the laundry room and I'll show you my bedroom, then we can go to the kitchen and see what is there."

They entered the house and made their way upstairs and Ellie got a glimpse that her daughter was a teenager as there were a few posters of the latest boy heartthrobs adorning her walls and a computer setup that she was certain was setup by her brother. There was also a montage of pictures: of family, friends that Ellie was looking through to piece together her daughter's life. Sadness started creeping in while doing this and Ellie was confused as to why.

Clara had quickly grabbed a light jacket and was transfixed by the sight until she saw the smile begin to turn upside down. Clara walked to the montage and began scanning over it very quickly; she closed her eyes and opened them. With a wince she moved her hands to the upper left corner and moved a photo and grabbed one that was underneath and handed it to Ellie.

The tears flowed from both as Ellie looked at the wallet sized photo of Big Mike dressed as Santa with Clara on his lap reaching for Ellie who was kneeling on the other side completely entranced staring at her daughter.

"Shit, I'm sorry for covering that up."

Ellie reached over and gave a hug of comfort and into her daughter's ear she whispered, "Language."

The laughter stopped the tears and after wiping their eyes decided to head down to the kitchen. As they made their way down the staircase neither noticed any noise coming from the kitchen. Walking in the pair was shocked with a voice asking "Is your friend staying for dinner?" Not getting an answer the woman looked up and said, "I asked if… Oh my God, you must be Ellie."

 _ **A/N: Posted before reviewing, not a secret or surprise as to who was talking at the end of the chapter and this isn't the end of the Clara/Ellie establishment of something; even though the next chapter is titled Devon. The chapter was full of places where I substituted other words or ellipses for Ellie. This was done within Clara's point of view, being unable to find a comfortable station for her to place Ellie in. As always I look forward to the reviews. Thanks for reading.**_


	3. Devon

_**A/N: While titled Devon, Clara is still a significant part as well as Devon's 'new' wife Emily.**_

 **Ellie's Path to Redemption**

 **Chapter 3: Devon**

"Mom, it's ok. I was going to talk to you and Dad about this after I got back from the airport." Clara stepped toward the island in the kitchen and Ellie seemed to take a step or two backwards choosing to hover in the doorway.

The shock of seeing Clara's 'birth' mother and just how uncanny the resemblance between them was took a few moments for her to recover. When she did the aspect that came first was the consummate hostess; walking over to the woman in the hallway she stretched her arm out offering her hand, "I'm sorry about my reaction. I had no idea that you were going to be here. I'm Emily Woodcomb; it is very nice to finally meet you."

Ellie took the gesture and returned it in kind, "Thank you, I'm Ellie Bartowski and although I only found out about you a few days ago it is nice to make your acquaintance as well." Both were surprised at the honesty that the other projected in their greeting and that seemed to dissipate the awkwardness.

"As I asked earlier, I hope you will be staying for dinner."

"Possibly," a quick glance at Clara with a slight shake of her head, "Unfortunately I do have to be at the airport by a quarter after seven so there may not be enough time. What are you making?"

"I was going to try one of Devon's favorites, pot roast."

"That is, but if you're just starting it I don't think it will be ready before my plane comes in. Where are your aromatics?"

"My what?"

Ellie gave a perplexed look for a moment, "Would you mind if I helped?"

Emily quickly answered, "No," and Ellie looked in the refrigerator and pulled out an onion, some carrots, celery, and a bottle of red wine.

"Do you have beef broth or a bouillon cube?" Emily happily went to her pantry and brought out a box containing the bouillon cubes. "Potatoes?"

"Oh, they're in the car… Clara can you…"

"On it." The young woman took off.

Ellie looked over at the other woman and although she seemed relieved it was obvious she was still tense and Ellie was hoping it wasn't because of her, "I'm sorry, I kind of jumped in here and the last thing I want to do is step on your toes."

"No, no; you already have helped me. I don't know why, but cooking has always made me completely uncomfortable. Mainly because everything I try to make never turns out quite right. I think the other two have a hidden stash of food that they go to whenever I try to make something."

"Cooking is something I usually enjoy… well except for the in-laws." Ellie braced herself as she had no idea what the reaction would be, with her luck Honey and her were in a quilting bee together, but she soon felt a great relief as unabashed laughter came through.

"I always felt she was comparing me to you and I could never measure up."

Ellie took a full look at the woman in front of her and shook her head, "Are you kidding, you are gorgeous, obviously both kind and confident as you've treated your husband's ex with respect after being surprised by her showing up out of the blue. What do you do?"

"I'm in charge of the accounting for the hospital group; the six in Illinois, two in Indiana, and three in Wisconsin."

Something triggered in Ellie's memory, "Were you Emily Pack… Packer?"

"Packard… Devon told you about me?"

"A little; just that you were high school sweethearts and that you broke up amicably before going to…"

"University of Illinois, they have one of the top Accounting grad and post graduate degree programs in the world. I was brought in to do an audit of your…umm… What else do we need?"

Quickly understanding the audit was for her department as the Government was wanting to get as much information to keep a hold of her as long as possible, "Don't worry; you didn't find anything, did you? How are your knife skills?"

"Sarah actually taught me a few tricks and that is one of the few things I feel confident about. Although the results of the audit have been deemed as part of national security; the worst thing was you under billed the government on a few things."

Ellie handed her the carrots and onion and when Clara came in with four Idaho potatoes in a bag Ellie winced slightly, "Clara, can you rinse the potatoes and cut them into two inch sections?"

"I guess."

"Thanks," Ellie found where Emily kept her herbs and spices and was grateful to find a bay leaf that looked fresh. Most of the rest appeared to have been sitting for quite some time, but she grabbed the thyme and rosemary. "Do you have any garlic?" At Emily's shake of her head, Ellie improvised grabbing a few other bottles and felt confident it should work.

The three worked efficiently as Ellie instructed the two on browning the meat and adding certain ingredients at different times as well as making sure they kept the oven temperature at 275o while Ellie made herself a Cobb salad as she noticed there were avocados that needed to be used. Emily asked if there were other recipes and/or secrets Ellie was willing to share, after immediately suggesting guacamole she said there were a few that were just sitting in her head. When Ellie finished her salad she went to look in the pantry to correlate the items they already had to recipes.

While in there Ellie was throwing out suggestions and the two would give a yay or nay as to whether they liked it or were at least willing to try. In the midst of this, Clara heard the garage door open and rushed to greet her father. Soon though a voice boomed out, "Hon, this smells incredible, I bet it is going to taste awesome."

He stepped into the doorway between the foyer and kitchen, "Clara's said that you are getting cooking lessons. You know that you don't really need to…" He stopped as soon as his wife's cooking tutor stepped out of the pantry, "What the hell are you doing here?" came out as a question and not an accusation.

"I needed to see Clara," came out stiffly as Ellie almost instead said my daughter and did not want to drag that particular set of baggage into the spotlight. She looked at Devon and not surprisingly he looked almost the same, the hair in a slightly different style, but most people would say he was closer to thirty than fifty.

Devon pursed his lips and Ellie could tell he was trying to carefully parse what he was going to say, "It would have been nice for a little warning. Almost fourteen years and nothing, then I find out you're alive and the next day in my kitchen. How long are you staying?"

"My plane leaves in a little over two hours."

"You can't even spend a full day with her. Does the government still have a tight leash on you?"

Ellie stilled at that. "Dad it isn't like that. There's a good reason…"

"What I learned from your Uncle Chuck is that there is always a good reason."

"But…"

Devon wrapped his arms around Clara, "It is awesome that you want to defend after a day and a few letters, but I think it may be easier for us to talk things out with you elsewhere. There's a possibility of rain tonight and I'm guessing you're bringing Ellie to the airport, " Clara nodded against his chest, "Then there's no better time to learn how to put the top back up and secure it."

"That will take about two minutes," Clara huffed.

"Well, maybe Tina or Maria would like to hear who you were with all day or you can program my elliptical in Jupiter mode." Clara's eyes danced with mirth and she was quickly off without saying a word.

To the two women looking at him with a confused look, he shrugged, "This model allows you to adjust it so that you feel like it has the gravitational pull on any of the planets. I also know you are holding back, Eleanor Bartowski never let anybody fight her battles for her." Looking into her eyes, Devon's fell slightly, unable to see any trace of the fire that was almost a trademark of hers.

"Why did you leave me?"

"Ellie, we went over it at the one counseling session you decided to show up at. When we got to Chicago things changed."

"For the better."

"Well, if you still believe that after everything, I don't know what to say. Professionally it was better, but personally… You know I never resented your work, but you were missing out on Clara. Initially after getting your award I was going to stage an intervention."

"What?"

"I was talking with Emma and…"

"Sarah's mom? You talked with her?"

"Molly was fascinated with Clara; she'd always ask when she could babysit. For her tenth birthday present Chuck and she flew out just so she finally could… Anyways you were drifting away from us and the examples that flashed in my eyes were your parents, Sarah's parents, and even Casey have one extreme similarity: missing out on their children's lives. I didn't want you to be the next, so Emma suggested making some notes about the small things that you were missing: putting her to bed, giving her a bath, things that you used to cherish. I was going to tell Chuck and Mary about it… Oh my God, do you…"

"Yes, I visited them the other day." Ellie said curtly.

"Ok, I am sorry for your loss."

The pain and honesty were steeped in his voice and she knew that he was a good man. Doing her best to change off this subject, "How did you know about the government? Did they talk to you?" She did her best to hold back any hint of accusation, but could not tell from his face if she had done it.

"In the back of the courtroom, there was a woman. When we left Chuck bristled at her and said to 'leave you alone'. I asked who that was and he said it was trouble. With your disappearance, he shared who she was and that she wanted a functioning Intersect that was not in a Bartowski."

"I agreed to work on the project… at the time I was convinced I didn't have anything else, except potentially jail."

"We had figured it was something like that, and I know how devoted you are to your work, but if I never hear the word Intersect again, unless it has to deal with lines, I will be happy. Are you done with it? If not I have serious reservations about you finally becoming a part of Clara's life again."

"She somewhat kept her word and I had made some serious breakthroughs after two years which answered my questions, but did not answer enough of hers. I reapplied and was granted probationary readmittance to the AMA, but the CIA, well Director Bentley tried to gain leverage on me again to work in DC."

"How?" Emily blurted out, which reminded the two estranged spouses there was somebody else in the room.

"They burned my house in New Mexico down while I was going in front of the AMA board, setting me up for Arson charges. The police were waiting for me and I was in jail for about eight months while the mess was being sorted out. When Bentley came to see me I told her I was done and that there wasn't any difference between prison and working for her. She did send messages to me, literally; I was never accosted in a shower or anything like that." Ellie took a deep breath, "Thankfully the DA was honest and dismissed the charge. He also wrote a note to the AMA stating I was fully exonerated of any charge and this could not be used against me in continuing my career."

"What the hell, Ell? That leaves over a decade of Clara's life that was missed out on. How fucking selfish are you?"

"Devon!" cried out a shocked Emily.

"I'm sorry babe," Devon said contritely as he and Emily took a step towards the other but both halted as they saw the look in Ellie's eyes. Ellie's response was instinctual as part of an emotional wall crumbled, even though 99.99% of her brain knew the words were not meant for her. Merely the inflection he put on babe was enough to trigger an honest smile. The husband and wife then witnessed the transformation as the realization fully set in and her eyes reflected the fourteen years of solitude. She was far more exposed than if she stripped right there; she wanted to run so badly but she suddenly felt as if she was stuck in that Jupiter mode. She slowly turned and trudged off to the front door.

Emily made a move towards Ellie, but Devon stopped her with a hug, "Em, there are a few other things I need to share with her, as right now I doubt there will be another chance. Go help Clara as I'm sure she fastened the front part before securing the back." Sensing a bit of reluctance from Emily, "You know she will always have a part of my heart as I know Mike will always have a part of yours."

"But she's still alive."

"Unfortunately as Morgan so eloquently put it, unless you see viscera. We've all seen the report and sadly the video, but I know of two people whose word I trust swear a person was dead only to have them come back. There will always be a tiny bit of doubt that if he does rise from the ashes, you would… but we had to work so hard for this trust and life together. I know how you feel, but I cannot let her go like this."

"I know, and you shouldn't feel that way. I thought maybe having somebody else to talk to would help, but you two do need to come to some semblance of an understanding, for Clara, if you can't for each other."

"Thanks, hon," the kiss they shared was only brief in terms of time, as they headed off to their separate missions.

Devon quickly made it to the front door opening it and scanning the driveway did not find Ellie until he scanned closer and found her sitting on the bottom step with her knees tucked under her chin. He approached her quietly, but loud enough to know that he was there. Sitting beside her, he took a minute just to collect his thoughts and bring his breathing to normal as he realized his respiratory rate was going faster than at the first mini-triathlon he entered.

"When I divorced you, I lost the right to know what you were doing. I never thought there was anything that would keep you from Clara. I also never would have refused your letters, however I would have read them. From the time of your first ones I would have needed to read them to her anyways." Looking over he could see Ellie's head nod. "I can also tell that you have been through a lot and it may sound petty, but it probably was deserved. I found your unaltered surgical notes."

"Devon, it was an accident."

"I prayed that it was, but you still should have gone back in immediately rather than wait. Finding the notes that night made me unable to trust you. Doing what you did to a woman I know you considered a sister and your lack of reaction made me realize you were far further gone than I had thought. Not to mention shading the truth from Chuck and I. Damn you Ellie."

"Where are they?"

"I destroyed them right after reading them. I'm sometimes torn in thinking I did it to protect you or to protect Sarah from finding out… I won't stop you from seeing Clara or keeping in contact with her. After all this time that would just be petty. What have you been doing for the past decade?"

Ellie explained the futile job search and finally the break; Devon giving a small smile in hearing their old administrator giving her a second chance. When she finished she plaintively asked, "Are you happy?"

Devon was surprised, but still able to respond quickly said, "Yes, but I am still a little shocked that you are here."

Ellie allowed the small giggle to escape before shaking her head, "Emily and I finding each other when we did probably saved the three of us. I thought I brought her up when you wanted to talk on our honeymoon about the loves we had that shaped us. She was my high school sweetheart."

"I had figured that out."

"How?"

"Something clicked as the name along with your description especially her kindness. It makes more sense now then when John told me you got married a year after meeting."

"John is an unmitigated ass… I don't want to burden you with this, but after what I just said you should know the truth. We've only been married six years. Emily was married to a Marine Lieutenant. She worked her way up one of the largest accounting firms; she had just secured Yum brands when she found out she was pregnant. Mike, her husband, was just deployed and was not due back for a year, but they allowed him to come back in eight months. On his insistence they stayed on the base at Quantico until it was time for her to deliver. The delivery went fine and their baby boy was declared healthy," Ellie knew a shoe was about to drop as Clara would have talked about an older/younger brother, but there was nothing in her room or living room that showed signs of anybody besides the three of them, "But there was a small leak in his right ventricle that was initially missed and he did not survive the surgery to repair it."

Ellie started to get up her face full of compassion and concern; she stopped at the look of surprise on Devon's face, "What?"

"It's just the first 'Ellie' thing you've done since I've seen you, but please don't go to her now. It will either embarrass her or more likely cause all three of you to start crying. They were both heartbroken, obviously, but after a week Emily wakes up and Mike was packed and gone. The Housing Sergeant knocked on the door as she was trying to track his whereabouts, apologizing as he had to give her a twenty-four hour notice to vacate, but would help to arrange something for her whether she wanted to stay nearby or go elsewhere. Getting in contact with her parents was easier as they were staying in a hotel just outside the base and the three decided to revisit her childhood and got a place in Michigan City, Indiana for a month."

"What happened to him?"

"Just before they left for the airport, one of his buddies brought an envelope with her name on it apologizing that he hadn't seen it until just before he went to find her. In it was a brief note saying he did not know what to do and that he needed to go do what he did best to clear his head and that once he got settled he would tell her more."

"He went for another tour?"

"No, he resigned his commission. That was why Em had to vacate; there is a housing shortage on the base and the waiting list is long. Anyways, an old commander of his had set up basically a mercenary group and that is what Mike signed up with. Emily was horrifically depressed, but after the month she was feeling better and put on a brave front returning to work. Two weeks in she knew she had to make a change as everything in New York reminded her of her pregnancy. Her boss offered her a choice of LA, Dallas, or Chicago. She chose Chicago and shocked everybody by choosing the hospital group account among the ones available to her. They were opening another branch in Seattle and were shuffling in order to make sure all the locations were sufficiently staffed. A few months in she was doing well, except if it got really quiet…" Devon stopped for a moment and wiped his eyes.

"She finally got the note promised from Mike and he said he was in Somalia and had no idea when he was coming back. He knew he was a coward for leaving the way he did, but there was nothing in him, but rage and at least here he had the outlet for it, at home he was scared what he may do. This didn't help her, but a few weeks after that she got the call for the audit. The DOJ was doing one, but the hospital wanted one of their own to corroborate whatever they found. That is where we met one another again; she came to my office and asked if I had any of your papers. I told her we kept them separate, but gave her your number. We were so locked up in everything going on with ourselves we didn't recognize the other. It took the second time when she came in with the DOJ auditor who asked me the same question and then started asking more personal ones: did you go away for weekends, get phone calls in the middle of the night or ones that hung up if I answered, did our personal finances add up, strange bills on our credit card, signs of drug use…" Ellie scowled at the questions, but wondered if they put enough doubt in his mind to tip the scales in getting the divorce.

"The divorce papers had been filed and I still told them the truth on those questions, which was 'no'. Finally I got tired of listening to her spout and threw her out. Emily looked up to apologize, but put her hands to her mouth and said, 'Devon?' and somehow that triggered my memory of her. Since it was a little past 2 and neither of us had eaten we went to the cafeteria and started to catch up. We exchanged phone numbers and talked a little bit and helped each other through our nightmares."

At Ellie's questioning look, "You probably have a good idea at what hers contained… Ell please; you don't want to know." Ellie gave Devon her 'no-nonsense' look and Devon shook his head until he finally said, "Instead of Sarah it was Clara." The weight of that slammed into Ellie who tried to form a response, before Devon added guiltily, "Other times you put the Intersect in her." Ellie tried to look away from Devon, but couldn't and despite the look he gave to her that he knew she couldn't go that far tears strolled down her face. Wanting to get off the subject, "The DOJ called off their audit, in conjunction with your agreement as my lawyer was informed that you wanted to proceed expeditiously and somehow an opening in the judge's calendar appeared and it was over so quickly. I tried to call you that night, but was told you had a do not disturb placed on your phone and then you were gone."

"Why would John have said you were married in a year?"

"Since everybody had spread out at this time; your mom, Alex, and Morgan were in LA, Chuck, Sarah, Emma, and Molly were in San Diego, Casey and Gertrude were in Miami, and Clara and I were here we draw lots every Christmas to see who will host Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the 4th of July. The first time though Chuck used a random number generator after Labor Day got completely messed up. Initially Gertrude got Thanksgiving and I got Christmas, but she was concerned about being the first host so we switched. Everyone but Casey knew about Emily which was surprising as he was the one who visited most, besides your mother. Apparently he assumed Emily was the nanny. She had moved in, but was living in another bedroom. She was able to do most of her work from here and despite some initial reservations when she and Clara met they were fast friends."

He looked at Ellie cautiously on his last sentence, but from the interaction between them and some of the photos in her room she understood and didn't think of Emily as stealing Clara. They both needed each other. Her reflective gaze and understanding look brought a sad smile to Devon's face as her haunted eyes a few minutes ago answered his questions: she hasn't had anybody significant in her life and she isn't sure if she deserves to which is why she's kept her distance.

"For Thanksgiving Chuck brought out the California contingent on Wednesday and they came over to see the new house, this one. Another surgeon was retiring and needed to get rid of this house at a loss to cover his other capital gains. Selling our house was more difficult than I would have imagined, but eight months later it was finally done. I used a home equity loan to cover your half in case you came back, but I did create an account and put in enough over the years that it is fully covered. I know you don't have time to go there or that you don't want the money, but it is there and despite what you signed you deserve far more than that. Sorry I got off on a tangent… anyhow Casey and Gertrude came up Thanksgiving Day and he insisted on deep-frying a turkey which was fine as we had two, although Emily's had a little moisture problem. While Casey was watching over his deep fryer, Emily had just gotten to her story about the note Mike's boss sent her a week prior that he was killed attempting a rescue of a captured French diplomat. John came in at the end of the conversation and asked about Mike then got self-righteous when he saw me comforting her after her turkey didn't turn out quite right."

Ellie gave an understanding smile as their wording of Emily's cooking unknowingly matched, "What happened?"

"He made a remark about disrespecting the Marine's and Sarah conked him with her turkey leg bone. Word of warning, never go between Sarah and a turkey leg. Gertrude called him a jackass and took him outside; after coming back he apologized and whenever he began to say something else, Sarah and Mary would just glare at him. I don't know if he was trying to rile you or me by saying that, but whatever relationship we had before then has devolved into greeting, ignoring, and parting… What time is your flight?"

"8:15"

"Traffic shouldn't be too bad, but you may need to take off soon… Ell?"

"Yes."

"Allow yourself to be happy. There's probably a whole mountain of crap that we haven't gone through, but know that I want that for you."

Ellie stood up and Devon followed, she attempted another 'Ellie hug' which was a little closer to the standard, but was still lacking. Hearing the brakes on the Corvette a few feet away caused the two to look and saw Clara and Emily smiling at them. Emily got out of the car and approached them and was surprised as her hug was a full-on Ellie one along with her earnestly whispering, "Thank you for taking care of them." Releasing Emily she stepped around to the passenger side and smiled at the two of them before stepping in and closing the door. Hitting the accelerator Clara took off and went through the gate without braking and just enough clearance.

Devon and Emily went into a side hug, her arms around his waist, one of his around hers, and the other around her back and shoulders, "I like her… I have to check the pot roast."

"That was close."

"I've timed the gate, but it was a little slow, oh well."

"Are you still going to call Aunt Sarah?"

"Yes… and I will bring up the opportunity. Do you think she'll be mad?"

"Yes, but not at you."

The ride was fairly quiet as both were caught between processing everything that happened and trying to decide what would constitute the next step. To both of their consternation, the signs kept showing that O'Hare was rapidly approaching.

"Do you think it would be ok, if I visited you over the summer?"

"It's perfectly fine with me, but Devon and Emily need to approve it."

"Ok," The Corvette stopped as she reached the US Airways Departure terminal, "There is one more thing I wasn't entirely truthful about today." Ellie looked over at her worriedly, "I'm not going to Northwestern, I'm going to Stanford."

Ellie stepped out of the car and began to get emotional, Clara showing she was her mother's daughter was in the same boat struggled to get out of the car and they met at the front of the car and hugged, "I'm so sorry baby; I should have done this so long ago."

As much as the crass sarcastic remark wants to exit a teenager's mouth at the exact wrong time; Clara held firm and simply said, "Call me when you get home."

"Ok." They pulled apart and attempted to wipe the tears off their faces and were mostly successful. Ellie turned and started walking towards the doors with her duffle bag, before going through them she turned around entering into a contest where neither wanted to move as they watched the other one leave. Ellie soon decided it would be prudent to let her daughter win this round, besides the point had been made to both.

Clara beamed a little in beating her… her mom in this battle of wills. Her mood quickly changed as she looked upon her windshield finding a ticket, "Hey, I've been right here." She yelled at the disappeared ticket-giver. Grumbling she grabbed it and stepped inside her car taking off while Ellie stood just inside the door watching it all.

 _ **A/N: Hit the lady feelings a little hard on this one, not sure if it was because Ellie was getting a lot of sympathy, but I did want to show Devon and Emily had a powerful bond. Original plan had the drive to the airport a little larger portion, but decided I needed to come up with something explaining the Casey remarks in the epilogue. For those daring souls, curious when it got really quiet, Emily would hear a baby crying; I thought it was too much to lay on Ellie on top of everything else, so I let him stop. As always I'm interested to know what you think. The next chapter is the one I know most are probably waiting for.**_


	4. Charah I

_**A/N: This may or may not be spread out into two chapters, as I did not expect the last two chapters to go as long as they did. Anyhow I'll cut through some minutia, Ellie got home fine and called Clara and she slept in the next day to prepare herself to go see Chuck and Sarah. Not sure I mentioned, but I don't own Chuck.**_

 **Ellie's Path to Redemption**

 **Chapter 4: Charah**

She had contemplated testing her 'no-fly' status, but with only two plus days of vacation left, her first shift was starting in the evening she thought better than to risk it. The drive presented some logistical challenges, after getting the address from Clara she mapquested and found the trip to be four hundred and fifty miles, at least the majority of it was on I-5, but that also meant she had to go through LA and being off by a half hour could find her two hours later than her optimal planned arrival. Even though she absolutely did not want to arrive too early; Chuck was always adamant about not wanting to potentially wake Sarah even if she was late for their monthly brunch. Apparently there was a long line of decimated alarm clocks that would testify to her wrath only if a) they weren't destroyed and b) if they could talk. The plan she decided upon was leaving at 1 am, avoiding the worst of LA traffic, and getting into San Diego a little before 8, relax and grab something to eat and be at their place around 9: a solid plan.

Driving to their ranch, not really another word to describe it, if the walls were fortified and solid it would be a compound, but it looked like any other ranch. She did feel a little stupid as the road she was on suddenly curved into the fence and there was no gate. She got out of the car to look for a phone box or intercom, but only found a camera and meekly waved. She walked back the way she came for a minute looking to see if she missed the gate. When she turned and got back to her car there was an opening to let her car through. ' _Well whether it's good or bad I guess this takes the complete surprise out of the bag'_ Ellie said to herself as she came upon a second fence that opened as she got there and closed right after she passed through _._ There was a log cabin that came first and a minute later found herself in front of what she had to assume was their house. The white picket fence looked dainty compared to the others laced with barbed wire, but that and the red front door left no doubt to Ellie who lived there.

The car was in Park, but was still running as Ellie closed her eyes and concentrated as her mind waged a battle between facing the music or running away… forever. She had enough self awareness that if she bolted she would never be able to make it back. ' _Again they know you are here; if they didn't want to see you they would have left you at the front gate.'_ That last part did not bring the comfort she was looking for, but her right hand apparently decided as it had shut off the engine and her left opened the door. Stepping out she looked back and hadn't noticed the incline she'd been driving on. She could see the fence and the log cabin, turning towards the house she could see the two cottages John had mentioned and part of another building that looked like a hangar. Making her way to the house, her mind decided to add to the anxiety; placing her in The Green Mile hearing the chant 'Dead man walking' with each step she took.

Standing in front of the door, her mind wandered again trying to figure out how she was going to initiate the conversation with Sarah about what she had to say to her. Chuck wasn't going to be any easier; despite a good portion of her monologue with her parents was being able to grasp the concept of the more time passed the easier it was to stay away. She knew after his initial bout of anger he would feel guilt when she didn't contact him and then a slow anger would start as the guilt lessened. There was also another fact that crept in; maybe he wasn't ready yet. He had devoted a lot of time and expense in the two searched for their parents. Finding her would have taken Chuck perhaps a minute; her drivers and medical licenses were in Ellie Bartowski as was the title to her house. The crystallizing point was he did not want to find her. She needed to get back in her car and go; before she could she was enveloped by two strong arms. Seeing the tuft of blonde hair in her eyes along with a heartfelt plea of 'It's so good to see you again Ellie' allowed her to break from her self-loathing and for the moment give in and accept the warmth.

"I've missed you too Sarah, so much… I am so sorry for what happened."

"Ellie, it's fi…"

"No! It isn't. I need to talk to you before you say anything about it being fine or you forgive me." Ellie broke down as she was unable to speak and was trying to memorize the feeling of closeness fearing that it would never happen again.

"Ellie, do you want to come inside?"

Sarah could feel Ellie nod her head as it was against her right shoulder. The two currently merged as one entered the house and stood in the foyer. Ellie took a quick glance and saw she was on Sarah's bad side as there was a patch on her eye which caused the dwindling tears to roar forth once more. Sarah grew slightly concerned, but soon put together Ellie noticed her patch and a pang of guilt hit her and started stroking the back of Ellie's head.

"Did you want some breakfast?"

Ellie shook her head. "I'm sorry; I'm acting like a fool." Ellie pulled away to see Sarah's tear stained face and studied it; "You're still gorgeous."

"Thank you; so are you… coffee?" Ellie nodded and Sarah led her to the kitchen and to the dual K-cup machine; Ellie chose regular and Sarah hazelnut. She set two mugs underneath and let the machine work while they sat at the kitchen table. Ellie was about to speak when she saw a small head peak out at her through the doorway.

Ellie brought her head down, smiled, waved and the smile and wave were returned with Sarah looking on amused. In an instant the boy raced into the room, shouted "Mama" and jumped into his mother's lap. Sarah realizing she was too far under the table for that move to be successful, caught him, spun him 450 degrees, giving her enough time to slide her chair out and placed the boy on her lap facing Ellie.

"Elton, this is your Aunt Ellie."

"Hi Elton, it is a pleasure to meet you." Elton looked at her for a moment, then jumped off his mom and bounded into Ellie's lap and nestled into her to Ellie's amazement.

"He's been laying on me for two days and I think is happy to try a different model. He caught a flu bug at Clara's party…" Sarah closed her eyes and muttered something to herself, "For the past few days he's been like this. He'll have bursts of energy and exhaust himself."

"How's his appetite?"

"It's been good which ruled out food poisoning as that was my original thought." Ellie nodded at that as she began a cursory examination.

There was a beep signifying the coffees were ready and when Sarah turned to the machine. Ellie searched her Intersect to see what it came up with. In the midst Sarah turned to ask if Ellie took the same items and recognized the look. Quickly turning back around and schooling her features, she felt the pull of conflicting emotions. Sadness that the Intersect seemed to be forever intertwined in their lives, anger at the agency she once loved to do this and at herself for not fighting harder to make sure she was safe. This led to curiosity: was she a covert operative, which could explain the distance, but the evidence contradicted it and why would she just flash on Elton when she was looking him over, unless… She donned her 'Hostess Ellie' look and turned smiling and brought over their mugs of coffee.

"Do you have a diagnosis?"

"What?" Ellie whispered out startled, "Oh, umm you haven't noticed any bites, or welts on him?" Sarah shook her head, "Was he out in the woods? I noticed Devon's house had a decent amount of trees in the back."

"Yes, the kids played hide and seek and he stayed hidden for an hour; well the kids told Chuck after forty minutes and after fifteen more nonproductive minutes they finally told me. I guess they feared my wrath." Sarah laughed, but paused as Ellie swallowed and notice her hand shook, "It took me a few minutes to find him scampered up a tree. I had to go up and get him because he only knows how to climb up trees, not down them; right monkey boy?" Sarah leaned over and tickled Elton causing the boy to squeal.

"Mama, not a monkey boy, not like nana's" Sarah and Ellie shared a laugh.

"Ok, sweetie; Aunt Ellie is a doctor, so maybe she can tell us in a little bit why you are feeling yucky." Elton nodded and Ellie began to inspect his scalp and soon found the culprit, or the remnants of it. She asked Sarah for some tweezers and an antiseptic cream, Sarah bolted to the bathroom.

"Mama fast," came out with both equal parts admiration and frustration and Ellie could only imagine the superspy thwarting the boy's attempts at getting into some mischief. Sarah was back quickly and watch as Ellie carefully pulled something out, inspected it and the area she took it from. She handed the tweezers to Sarah and spread the cream while telling Sarah to place the tick into a container of soapy water.

"What was it?"

"A tick, if he continues to be rundown tomorrow, you should probably take him in. I did not see a rash, but his reaction does seem like an allergic one."

Sarah looked over at Ellie with her eyes a little misted, she was about to say something to her, but stopped and looked down, "You up for some Team Umizoomi?" The little boy nodded emphatically, "Ok, you can watch two episodes and then practice on the piano." He jumped enthusiastically off Ellie and hugged his mom, then turned with his arms outstretched which Ellie gladly took in.

"Uhh, hug like mama," came out as he squirted free and made his way to his play area.

Sarah turned to Ellie, "Well I had to learn from somebody." Sensing Ellie's emotional response, "Both Clara and Devon called; each said they hoped you would come by. Clara told me a few other things as well." Unable to spot an overt reaction, Sarah continued, "You are no longer on the no-fly list and after hearing a few of my early missions Clara no longer wants to be a spy. I'm sorry."

The last two words brought Ellie back shaking her head vehemently, "No, you have nothing to apologize for."

"A few years ago at Christmas, Clara asked Devon how Chuck and I met; somehow a bear got mixed up in that story as well and he got flustered, so we came clean to the whole family… well Elton was there, but we'll tell him again when he's older. I think Clara romanticized the spy life from that point and… I can't believe I didn't see it. I also traced back from her person of contact and it did go back to Bentley. I brought Chuck in at that point since he has dealt with her in the past; Clara will not be contacted and he got your ban lifted." Seeing Ellie's eyes lighten, "He's working right now, but he does know you are here. So, what have you been up to?"

Hearing about Bentley brought an anger that Ellie had let simmer for so long she had forgotten about it, but then the rest registered and she looked at Sarah sadly, "You dealt with her too. Your memories didn't come back?"

Sarah shook her head then wrapped one of Ellie's hands with her, "No, I know we both wished that it would, but I think we both had a fairly good idea that it wasn't going to work, but you did help me in being able to create new memories. If you hadn't allowed me to stay after the art museum; I don't know where I would have gone. Ellie what happened?"

Ellie told everything, except the Intersect. Sarah listened intently even while replacing their mugs with glasses of water; only stopping her when noise or the conspicuous lack of it caused her to check on Elton. As Ellie finished up both of their eyes were red and puffy with slight marks on their faces showing the paths the tears rolled down.

"When did you upload the Intersect?"

"Wha…"

"Ellie, I saw the flash; I'm assuming you uploaded medical information otherwise Bentley or others would be all over you." Sarah calmly added.

As Ellie was beginning to explain there was the definitive sound of feet landing on the floor; Sarah rose and went to Elton. Ellie did her best not to eavesdrop, but 'I have to tell you every day' and a few other phrases were clearly audible. She heard them get to the stairs and tiny feet climbing them then stop, "El, no; there will be no Aunt Ellie until later. You can do your new activity book or read the next chapter and Daddy should be home for lunch and you two can walk." Sarah used her authoritarian motherly voice, but apparently it was close enough to the Enforcer that she walked into the kitchen to find a shaken and ashen Ellie Bartowski trying to push herself back into the kitchen chair as much as possible.

Sarah gasped and took a cautious step towards Ellie; who did not mount any response. Sarah recognized the fear in her eyes and the hand shaking when they would bring her in to re-interview someone she had broken, but was horrified that Ellie had this type of reaction. She tried to search her mind and holding a gun to her came roaring back.

In a soothing voice Sarah called to Ellie, "Ellie, we aren't in your car and I am not going to hurt you."

"But you should." Ellie replied timidly and at Sarah's questioning look, an adrenaline fueled babble came flowing forth, "When you were in your coma, I experimented on you. Your entire brain was mapped out to find where the Intersect and Quinn's damage had occurred and while I did repair that tissue when you were under I also took other, non-damaged portions and would run tests comparing the tissue that was taken to the new tissue created. I… I… I only took portions that showed no activity and everything worked as the simulations had projected and you seem fine. Right?" Ellie's eyes went wide, "I did not want to put you in that coma it was an accident, it was… it was an accident." Ellie placed her head on her arms and began to cry as Sarah stilled.

"How much of my brain?"

"Non-damaged tissue; about twenty percent," Ellie croaked out and Sarah's face paled. Looking up waiting for any reaction Ellie could only spit out, "I am a monster… and I touched your baby boy… I've got to go… I should never have come…" Ellie stumbled out of the chair, but was stopped by Sarah's hands grabbing her shoulders.

"No, you will stay here. I need some time, but I will not wait another decade to talk to you. Besides there's somebody else you need to talk to who should be making his presence known soon." Sarah uttered with a lack of emotion.

Ellie turned as she heard the front door open and some heavy breathing; followed by a swallow and, "Hey hon; whose car is that in the drive… Oh…" Ellie stared at her brother while Sarah without looking turned and wrapped her arms around him.

"How long were you watching?"

"Sarah… I… I guess most of it… I was going to come in for lunch; I just wanted to give the two of you some time… maybe that was wrong." He looked to Ellie, "I doubted your story about your reaction to the gunshot. I am sorry." Squeezing his wife a little tighter, "I had no idea it was to that extent, but that's why I stopped you from going to her. If she wasn't ready to admit this I couldn't trust her to be around any of you. I should have relented long before now, though. I'm so sorry."

"You think you kept me from going?"

"You gave me your word and Sarah Bartowski's word will always be good enough for me." Sarah blushed slightly at that and they then swayed to some music that was only playing for the two of them. Ellie watched, still enthralled by the two of them. The longer she watched them the more introspective she became. A vacant stare was what the two saw after their bit of revelry. Sarah was afraid to speak thinking the tone of her voice could cause her to withdraw more. Chuck was not faring much better than Ellie so in whatever lies between guiding and pushing someone Sarah did that bringing Chuck to Ellie. Once they got to within a foot of the other they reached out and locked onto one another.

"Baby brother." Ellie sniffed out.

"I am still mad at you, you know?" Ellie nodded against his chest, "You are so damn stubborn, waiting so long before coming back."

"That's what you're mad about?"

"That's at the top of the list… it isn't that long, but I need for us to go through it." Ellie again nodded to her chest, but both turned at the sound of a loud sniffle. "She didn't remember any of my past, so I told her everything and she wanted you to show up for me much more than for herself." Chuck for a moment thought about offering an open arm to Sarah and making this a group hug, but saw she is still conflicted and needs some more time.

He released Ellie and went to his wife who gave him her 'why did you do that' glare before wrapping her up. "You going to work out?" head shake,"bath?" head shake, "put on your leopard striped bikini and sunbathe?" Sarah leaned back with a single raised eyebrow glare to Chuck's eyebrow dance which changed the glare into a salacious smile followed by a painstakingly slow shake of her head. "Coloring with Elton?" finally drew a head nod. "Ok, as long as you stay within the lines I'll know which one is yours." Chuck ended with a grin.

"YImev taH SarghHom (don't be a donkey)" followed by a shoulder punch and a sharp turn to go towards the stairs, left Chuck with one option.

"Since it is the second Friday of the month and a crescent moon, it is foot massage night."

Sarah stopped and turned, "You're lucky it is a crescent moon." And launched herself at him bringing him down for a passionate kiss.

A few seconds after breaking it and heading up the stairs, Chuck was able to exclaim, "Yes, I am." Turning to Ellie, "Is it a crescent moon tonight?" brought out an unexpected laugh that brought Ellie back to before all the crap that transpired after Quinn got away with Sarah.

Looking up at Chuck, she was about to answer that she had no idea, but something else caught her attention, "When did you get glasses?"

"A few years ago; I guess staring at those computer screens and comic books all those years took its' toll." Stopping to grasp some of his sister's hair, "When did this happen?" Pointing to the streaks of grey; Ellie's initial response was a frown, "Too soon?"

"No, I don't have any idea. I cannot really remember the last time I looked at myself in a mirror that judiciously. Mostly it's just to make sure my underwear is on under my scrubs or pants."

Chuck gave a hearty laugh and brought Ellie into another hug, "Sis, we are going to get there, but it is going to take some time and a few more consistent visits.

Ellie's hug grew tighter at that point, "I made so many mistakes." Not holding back, Chuck agreed with her.

"I heard what you've gone through… I… A few months after your trials we tried to find you, even though you owned that property Bentley put it through the WITSEC protocol and I didn't want to open an access into their servers and she had said you agreed to five years, otherwise we would have been there when you were in jail. I was so mad at you… accepting an award for excellence with Sarah's life potentially hanging on by a thread. I should not have called you a Nazi, in all fairness my world had fallen apart, but I shouldn't have called you that."

' _How could I have forgotten that?'_ "Chuck, I hope you haven't beaten yourself up over this or thinking that was the reason I never came back." Looking over it fell into place; he had blamed himself for Mom leaving because of the bracelet, for Dad he had been pestering their father about the science project he was supposed to help him with, for her it was words spoken out of pain. She grabbed his arm tight to stir him from his melancholy, "You are right that I am stubborn, and after being released from jail and unable to find a job I did attempt to call you and Devon, but you had changed your numbers. I wanted to track you down, but I couldn't bear to see either the pity or hatred in your eyes that I was positive would be there. As for visiting more often, I think I'll wait for Sarah before committing to anything."

Chuck nodded at that then walked past her but motioned for her to follow opening the sliding glass door to a huge deck. Ellie stepped out, Chuck mumbled something as the view was awe inspiring and he closed the door. Ellie's nerves tried to gain control, but the sliding of the door brought a sigh of relief as Chuck was holding two glasses.

"I refilled yours and got one for myself, sorry I forgot to tell you to bring it because looking over this it is easy to lose track of time."

Ellie nodded and took her glass; following a sip of water she exclaimed, "This is beautiful Chuck." Looking over she could see two cottages, a stable, and the building that looked like a hangar which she assumed was their office, among other things. "Which one was Mom's?"

Chuck pointed it out, "Do you want to go inside? After we took meticulous care of the outside, but not really the inside; Molly came back during a break and stayed there, then Zondra stopped by looking to get out as she was being shuffled to desk duty. When Sarah explained we don't do any field work Zondra replied, 'If she had to be at a desk, she at least wanted it to be with family.' She's our salesperson, right now she's in France… Casey called me after he dropped off the package to Clara. The log cabin you passed is where he stays; I knew he wouldn't settle for anything less than being on the 'frontline'. Anyways if you are staying for dinner I will tell you about your nieces and nephews."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to go into Mom's place yet, as long as Sarah is ok with it I will stay; are we going to get to your list?"

Chuck shook his head, "We'll maybe get through one item each time you visit."

"Ah, to keep me coming back until I clear my ledger, I definitely want to, but it may be difficult; nine-hundred mile round trips are going to take a toll on my car."

"Well you can fly now from what I understand."

"That cost is going to add up as well… I know you can afford it; I am doing well enough to do so as well. I am just processing."

Chuck nodded as that was a common thing for his older sister; she was a planner while he was impetuous, "We do have access to a plane."

"Sarah can still fly?"

"No… How did you… I don't recall telling you she could."

"Somebody else did." Ellie got out softly as she felt a lump in her throat preventing anything else from coming out.

"I couldn't sell the plane, with the lack of hours on it; there wasn't much of a market unless I wanted to give it away, so I created a flying club. I noticed there were three other planes that were in a similar situation. I gathered the owners and they all liked it so there was a variety: two were smaller and one was bigger; surprisingly it wasn't difficult to find people willing to join. There's a small annual fee and usage charge per rental and obviously paying for the fuel…" Chuck stopped as Ellie's attention was diverted watching two females riding horseback.

"One is Molly and the other is Susan our middle child, she's going to be a senior in high school next year. Molly's in law school now. I will make the assumption you are staying so you will meet them all except Tonya, she's the second oldest, she's doing a business internship in LA and is actually staying with Morgan and Alex in Burbank. Our oldest is Steve, he is talented with computers and he got his Masters at Berkeley and is working for us. He lives in the city and works out of the original office with Emma who will be here as well. Elton you have met and that leaves Ally who is ten going on thirty. She is at swim practice right now. Luckily our neighbor's daughter is her best friend and they are practically inseparable so we can car pool, she should be back around 5 or so. They will all happily fill you in on the important things in their life… actually Tonya may as well as she may want to vid-chat with you."

"How? Chuck you didn't know if I was coming today or tomorrow or at all." The last part came out in a whisper and Ellie cringed after.

Chuck smiled, "We had a good idea and a little faith, besides I hope you weren't expecting anything fancy as we are just going to be cooking out. The assorted meats are thawing and Emma and Steve are going to be bringing a few other things. Lunch is going to just be PB & J's with the big dinner. Sarah should still be upstairs, will you help me?"

"Of course," Ellie said and they started to walk inside when something caught the corner of her eye, looking up she could see Sarah staring out the window, her face full of conflict. Chuck noticed Ellie stopped and soon saw what she was staring at and gulped wondering what the outcome would be if Sarah's emotions released. Soon a solitary tear drifted down Sarah's cheek and Ellie bolted.

 _ **A/N: Got a little caught up in the story and initially did not want to break this up into two chapters. Trying to find where to break it off was problematic as well. For those curious the language Sarah talked to Chuck in was Klingon and that does get talked about in the final chapter. There won't be an epilogue as I feel comfortable in letting the final chapter stand. Thanks to all those reading and reviewing.**_


	5. Charah II

_**A/N: There is a chapter that was posted earlier today so if you have not read Charah I you should click the back button and read that chapter. This will end the story as I will pass on doing an epilogue. For the last chapter being a bit easy on Ellie; with the amount of time and having lived, if not perfect, a very good life with the woman who loves him as much as he loves her. There is obviously a lack of trust that needs more than what one meeting can repair.**_

 **Ellie's Path to Redemption**

 **Chapter 5: Charah II**

Chuck reached out to stop her, but before he was able to say anything, "Chuck, stop I have to go to her." Ellie screamed out. Chuck instead brought her in and whether it was from missing her or the guilt he felt in her needing to stay away a sense of relief knowing the sister who raised him was still there.

"I missed you so much," Chuck got out in barely a whisper, but Ellie heard it and latched on to him, "You still haven't earned it yet, but this gives me hope."

They stayed silent for a minute when Ellie said, "Chuck, I meant it. I need to talk to Sarah."

"No, she is working things out and then is going to color with Elton until we get lunch prepared. Just give her the space and let her come to you… She doesn't remember the friendship you two had."

"Does she remember anything about me before…?"

"I don't think so; you are briefly mentioned in her reports, but there was no depth and the videos of various functions didn't really show enough of you two interacting to give her anything more than what Devon and I could tell her." Ellie stiffened up as she conjured up all the correct judgments that could be placed upon her character. "We only talked about before her 'accident', that's another thing she's going through right now: trying to put everything together and coloring with Elton will give her the stability she needs, before either one of us can talk to her about it."

Feeling Ellie's shoulders slump and the distance in her voice when she agreed gave pause to Chuck as he reconsidered having Ellie go upstairs. He sighed and decided to stick with his original thought and brought Ellie inside and started setting up the assembly line of sandwiches. Chuck got the plates, glasses, and utensils while Ellie got the ingredients from the pantry: bread, creamy and chunky peanut butter, and an assortment of chips. She attempted to go to the refrigerator as Sarah and Elton decided to sit on the stairs and listen for a bit as the kitchen conversation turned into brother-sister banter that had teasing, but more than its fair share of awkward moments included. After deciding to place post-its on the plates to make it easier on whose sandwich is whose Ellie went to get the jelly.

"You have five jars… grape for you I know, I don't see blackberry, but you have jalapeño?"

"Strawberry is for Molly and Elton, Apple is for Susan, we don't have raspberry for you… why blackberry?"

"That's Sarah's favorite, she liked grape, but wanted to try some other ones. So we bought twelve to fifteen different jellies and jams, peanut butter, saltines, and water and tried them out in the parking lot. Boysenberry was my favorite, but nobody carries it, hers was blackberry." Ellie stated as she brought out the three mentioned jars, "I'll try the apple."

Ellie added the jelly to the sandwiches while Chuck got the beverages for everybody. Elton bounced into the kitchen and sat in his chair. A door opened, soon accompanied by female laughter and the sound of footsteps on stairs.

"Sis, why are you hiding on the stairs? Are you in timeout again?" Stepping into the kitchen Molly's jaw dropped; despite not having seen her since she was little the similarity to Clara alone made it obvious who she was, "Aunt Ellie?"

"Hi, Molly; I hear you're in law school." Ellie handed her a plate with a sandwich and post-it note on it.

"Are you going to be around?"

Ellie shifted uncomfortably and to Chuck's shock schooled her features when Sarah walked in and started to wrap her arms around Molly, but stopped, "You two will have to eat outside and then take a bath or shower, it is a family dinner tonight. Aunt Ellie is spending the night so you will have time to talk… no, do not hug me; outside now both of you."

Ellie handed Susan her plate and both exchanged wary smiles. Molly grabbed a Sun Chips bag and carried it with her teeth as Chuck opened the slider for the two young women. Ellie looked up to Sarah with hopeful eyes as she offered her plate. Sarah accepted it and said 'Thanks' before heading outside as well and sharing a cautious look before closing it.

Lunch went quietly; more on the inside than the outside as the three females were having a jovial conversation. The girls went to clean up and after lunch Elton gave Ellie a tour of the house which started and ended entering his room where playing Lego's took precedence over anything else, for a half hour. The piano practice he forgot about earlier now called him away as the now clean girls showed Ellie the outer buildings. Molly was staying in Mary's cabin so Ellie went in with less hesitation. Seeing the stables and the portion of Chuck's office that was allowed filled in the time almost perfectly; as the smells of assorted items grilling wafted down to them.

The dinner was a free for all, not in a bad way, as once any item was taken off the grill it was on someone's plate. Steve and Emma both had surprises of their own as they used this opportunity to introduce the family to their respective girlfriend and boyfriend. The latter proved fortuitous for Ellie as the only blemish on the evening happened later on as Emma took Ellie aside for a heated, one-sided conversation that Ellie took calmly, but soon separated herself from everybody else when they came back.

Elton and Ally had both long ago gone to bed exhausted from their days. Emma and her beau headed off to his place earning the man an 'Enforcer's glare'. Susan had gone to her room to catch up with her friends; Molly to her cabin which had Chuck and Sarah talking computers with Steve and Marie _(A/N: could not pull the trigger to have her be Mary)._ While the other three became wholly engaged in the conversation, Sarah started to get concerned about Ellie's whereabouts and said she was going inside for a moment.

Her first thought was to make sure Ellie's car was still there and gave a sigh of relief when it was. Stepping back inside she happened to notice a picture on the mantle was askew. Making her way into the living room she noticed a number of photos on the wall were no longer there. Going around the couch she found Ellie on the floor staring intently at a photograph that had Mary holding Elton. Sarah stealthily sat next to Ellie finding it difficult not to cry at her broken expression. She wrapped her arms around Ellie which allowed the both to shed some built up tears. After a few moments they both had stopped, but were taking some deep breaths.

"Is blackberry my favorite?"

Ellie nodded, "I remember you had thought it was going to be blueberry, but we promised each other we would try them all."

"Why did we try them in the parking lot?"

"We wanted space from the guys and you were in the CIA rental in between the Porsche and Lotus. I think it was a Corolla or something in that vein; you disliked it so we sat on the trunk and tried the jellies. After you two moved in together and Devon and I got back from Africa we started hanging out and it was nice. Neither one of us had close friends growing up or had many opportunities to be carefree. After being let in on some of your secret and the Morgan thumb fiasco; we immediately hung out a little more: we'd go to lunch and also have a ladies' night every week. You don't want to know about this, do you?"

"Not now, there are too many other things I want to get to. What did Chuck tell you about me after waking up?"

Ellie seemed a little surprised, but she responded, "No further memories returned and you haven't had any headaches associated with the procedures. "

"He is right, but he held back something… my brain is very receptive in learning and retaining info… I guess it always was, but it feels easier. I've added a few new languages that has helped with some negotiations. Do you recall what I said to Chuck earlier?"

"No, it sounded eerily familiar, but I am not good with languages. I probably could have added at least Spanish to my… sorry."

"It was Klingon. We use it to communicate when we don't want the kids to know what we are talking about… Ellie why is your face red?"

"Crying? Please don't make me say anymore as I won't lie to you. I deserved far worse than this... Perhaps now I won't shake like a fool when you raise your voice."

"Have you seen anybody for that?"

Ellie shook her head, "Trying to come to terms with what I did. I would avoid thinking about that day and not having anybody sitting in the passenger seat of my car has helped as well. If it persists I will, but this past week has kept me on edge. How can you be in the same room with me?"

Sarah brought her legs in and wrapped her arms around them carefully contemplating, "During my rehab when it was pointed out that with everything that had happened in my career as a spy the chances of me conceiving and carrying to term was less than fifty percent neither of us was willing to take the chance. Chuck got a vasectomy and when I was fit enough I had a tubal ligation. Were we overreacting? Possibly, we both were definitely scared what could happen. So we looked into adoption and assuming the glut for babies we thought it would be easier for us to step in with a toddler. We soon found problems with that in 'securing' our spot, places were looking for a generous donation and we did not want to go down that path. We found one place that was genuine, but they dealt with school age children. Eventually we were able to find Steve. A saving grace was he had been fascinated with technology, so Chuck would bring him in and began teaching him his tricks of the trade. I was there for most of it and picked up on what he was doing and started going through some of our past efforts and understood how Chuck was doing these things. He thought I was placating him until he got stuck on a project and I made a suggestion; when it worked he got excited. Well…"

"I know you both Sarah, so you don't need to expound. Although I don't completely know how this relates to why I wasn't greeted with your knife collection."

Sarah looked at Ellie and saw no signs that were problematic earlier, "Well I got sidetracked. Thankfully there weren't many adjustment issues and other problems with Steve, but there were still a number of things we had to deal with. Neither my or your mom could offer practical advice because neither dealt with this age of child, yet." Ellie nodded, "Chuck started coming up with things that were working and he finally said that it was what you did. So, you did help us… It sounds kind of hollow coming out of my mouth though."

"No, I had no idea what I was doing trying to raise Chuck, so I can't take credit… I can feel your brow furrowing so I will accept your praise. However on that regard if I hadn't followed what you told me I have no idea where I would be right now."

Sarah was conflicted having an idea of what Ellie has had to do to survive and really didn't want to hear it, but just to confirm, "When would we have talked about this?"

"On one of our nights, we went to this cantina that had unbelievable margaritas I was buzzed enough to ask and you were buzzed enough to answer." Going to a more somber tone she added, "After six or seven months I was certain I was going insane, if I wasn't already there. So I just focused on the task at hand shutting off anything else that was stopping me from completing the goal. Do you remember anything about the relationship we had before…?"

Sarah understood what Ellie had to do and agreed given everything that had happened she did what was necessary to survive. The brief glimpse of what she was probably like before played out in her mind begging Chuck to let her go because she was in emotional pain. She wanted to lie, but felt she would be called on it, "There's one thing I remember, but I'd rather not talk about it right now… if that's ok?"

Ellie's face crumbled a little bit as the full force of the realization that their relationship would never come close to what it had been. Granted she wasn't grotesquely stupid, but like the Jim Carrey line if there had been a one in a million shot she would have happily said 'so there's a chance'. With Chuck and Devon at least the memories before she tangoed across ethical boundaries she never should have approached could show she wasn't the monster she has spent over a decade trying to both accept she was and make certain she never came close to being again.

Sarah could see Ellie was battling something within herself as she heard the familiar squeal of Converse's against the kitchen tile floor. Hearing the refrigerator door open and close along with the click of the lights turning off meant Chuck would be here momentarily and Sarah didn't know if that would snap Ellie out or put her deeper inside.

Chuck was quickly upon them however noticing the pictures first a frown appeared on his face until he looked down seeing the picture and Ellie lightly tracing around their mother's face otherwise she was staring blankly into the wall. He looked to Sarah who had a sad look and pulled out his phone mouthing 'Did you find her like this?' Sarah shook her head.

"Ell… Ellie; you there?" Ellie blinked a few times before looking up at Chuck with a vacant look. Molly is sleeping in her old room at Emma's, so you can have the other cabin, ok?" Ellie simply nodded at that. Trying to get a little more active response, "Do you know what time you're going to be leaving tomorrow? I do want to say goodbye."

"Do I have to do it all?"

"Do all what?"

"I know I have to make the lion's share of the effort, but…"

Chuck felt a shiver run through his body as he had never thought he'd see that look again, "Ellie I swear we would not give you fake phone numbers. You will have to at the start, but if there's something coming up we will let you know. Do you want me to take you to the cabin?"

Ellie shrugged and looked at Sarah. Sarah motioned Chuck down with her finger and gently pressing his lips when he came within striking distance; pulling away she added, "Ell and I have just a few more things to talk about and I'll take her over."

Chuck nodded then turned to Ellie and wrapped her in his arms, "Don't go without seeing me, ok?" Feeling Ellie nod brought a relaxed look to Chuck who rose and quietly walked up the stairs.

"Let's get you settled in there. Maybe a little walk can do us both a little good." Ellie starts to put back the pictures, but Sarah stops her, "Chuck is going to go through them all tomorrow morning regardless, so it's best to leave them on the table." They picked the few pictures that were on the floor and placed them on an end table. Walking outside they both remained silent until they got to what had been Mary's cabin.

"Do you know where everything is?"

"Are the two set up the same?" Sarah nodded her head, "Ok, assure Chuck I will see him before I leave."

"Ell, I know you're exhausted, but if you need anything just hit #11 on the phone by the bed… Also if you're up for it there's something I need your help with tomorrow morning."

Ellie was almost out on her feet, but did agree on helping Sarah. Soon after seeing the bed Ellie collapsed into it, not moving until there was a gentle knock. Standing outside the door was Sarah with a pair of work gloves and overalls, inviting her in she was able to see the shovel and small tree that had been behind her.

"I remember us doing this for your father."

 _ **A/N: I am not going to do an epilogue as I feel ok at leaving it like this. Not everything is fully resolved, but the momentum is fairly obvious. The only things I could tackle in it is if Ellie is able to find a relationship and after Clara graduates from Stanford does Ellie move closer to San Diego. I feel confident that you guys can come up with the answers to those questions for your own satisfaction. As always I thank those who have read and also those that choose to comment. Thanks.**_


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